Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.

I know.  It's been a while.  My sincerest apologies, readers.  I haven't had a lot of free time, and when I have, I haven't had convenient access to a computer.

I just got back from California.  I had a great time hanging out with Tyler's family.  They really are amazing.  We didn't waste a moment of time while we were there.  Aside from hanging out with family, we spent some time in LA.  I got to catch up with some old friends, and narrowly missed catching up with others.  (Time really is too short.)  Ate amazing food, hung out at the beach, went to Disneyland.  I really love it in California.  If it meshed with our future plans, we'd probably live there right now.  However, we have a house to buy, and things to do out here in Minneapolis.  Regardless of the weather, unfortunately.  If I was rich, I'd move to San Francisco (did you know the cost of living in San Francisco is similar, if not more than living in NYC?).  Otherwise, I think I'd choose San Diego, since it seems like the beachy version of Minneapolis.

There's been a hiccup in the transferring of Panda, so we are still in limbo with her.  I'm not sure if prolonging the process is making it easier or harder to let her go.  I don't want to discuss this in much detail as I'm feeling a little negatively about the subject.

Nico is about 99% potty trained now, which makes things quite a bit easier.  She is still deathly afraid of everything.  Her leash, people, the wind, the heater turning on, you name it.  She jumps at things that I am not even aware of.  But, she has opened up to me a little bit.  I've learned how to use mannerisms that make her feel less threatened, and that allow me to approach her 100% of the time.  She doesn't completely trust me, but it's obvious she wants to.  She gets really excited about my presence when we wake up, when I feed her, and after I take her outside.  Those are the times she seems most open to love and attention.  The rest of the time, she seems to want my affection, but is extremely weary.  She is severely afraid of every other person, and runs to me (well, more like behind me) to escape anyone else.  Poor Tyler.  He wants her to love him, too, but she's still frightened of him and looks to me to save her.  I have seen her leap ridiculous heights off of the bed or couch to flee him.  This one definitely isn't going to crack anytime soon.  But she's adorable, and easy to train, so her being fearful isn't going to stop us.  I must say, I've never seen fear like this before.  It is just completely crippling.  When I think about how she must feel all of the time based on her reactions, I'm amazed that she has even managed to accept me at all.  I wish it was easier for her to trust, and I hope one day, she is relieved of her anxiety and learns to be at ease.  Poor little sweetheart.

I am currently reading the second book in the Millennium series (The Girl Who Played With Fire).  Just about finished.  I haven't decided how I feel about it yet.  I don't want to mention too much, as to avoid any spoilers for any readers out there.  I would like to know,  have any of you read the series?  What are your thoughts?  Have you seen any of the movies?

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

I got Nico back from the her extended stay at the vet today.  She was supposed to be spayed, but she nearly flatlined on the table when put under anesthesia, so they had to pull her out immediately.  The vet told me they think she may have an enlarged heart/heart disease.  She said she thinks Nico's prognosis is probably not good, and she will probably end up dying in her sleep.  They couldn't test her for an enlarged heart because they don't have the equipment at that location.  I guess her heart rate is very slow, at about 70 beats/minute when at rest, when it should be around 120 beats.  I was afraid of something like this.  It's weird, because all of her blood tests came back just fine.  The diagnosis hasn't been made officially, but the vet sounded pretty sure.

I'm not really sure what the next step is.  The person in charge of our rescue group said we will try the spay again at an office that is a little bit more seasoned, but I don't know if she knew about the potential for Nico's heart disease.  So, I guess we'll see.

On top of this, I have been sick the last couple of days.  I had to really pull it together today to pick up Nico.

And what's even worse, is Tyler's grandfather is very ill.  We planned a trip out to California for one last visit to see him next week, but it doesn't sounds like he will make it that long.  Ugh.  Rough past few days.

Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow color blind.

I've been watching a lot of horror movies lately.  I would watch them more often, but the selection is never broader than October.  I haven't seen any good ones lately, though.  Probably because I've really only watched ones that are on Netflix to watch instantly.  Anyone have any good suggestions?  I plan to see Paranormal Activity 3 tomorrow, but I'm not going to get my hopes up about that one.

Not much going on in the search for a home.  We put an offer in on another one recently that the owner's accepted.  Now, we just have to wait on the bank(s).  Which could take months.  Hopefully not too many months, as we need to plan our wedding around this house.  A house whose landscaping needs a LOT of work.

Nico is socially coming along nicely.  She's opened up much more.  We had quite a few people over a few days ago, and I think that helped her open up a little bit.  She's still very nervous, but much better than at first.  She's also doing really well with potty training.  I think we give her another week or two, and she's be 100% potty trained.  She has definitely made me feel better about my potty training skills!  (Sorry, Panda!...I just can't figure you out!)  Nico should be going in to see the vet next week, so now we should be able to see if she has any underlying medical issues.  We are pretty certain we will be adopting her once she has been vetted, but we're not allowed to sign any contracts until she has been seen and also spayed.

Tyler and I are going to California in a couple of weeks to visit his family.  I'm pretty excited.  He has to work for a few hours a couple of the days, so I have to figure out what to do with myself during that time...Hm...What to do in LA for a few hours during the day?  Any suggestions?

We're also booking our trip to NYC in January soon.  Another exciting trip that I can't wait for.  We're limiting our trip to just 4 days to deliver us from the temptation to shop our brains out.  I can't wait to see NYC in the winter, it will be such a stark contrast from when we went last time, in the excessive July heat!  I bet it's beautiful.  Except, you know, inside the subways.  Hopefully, we'll have our house by then, so we don't get tempted to stay.  I love that town.