A person travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.

House hunting has been interesting.  As a potential first time buyer, it's really scary.  I've never even purchased a new car, and now I'm spending 6 figures on a dwelling.  The idea of spending 6 figures is daunting, but the idea of throwing away that kind of money on rent for the next thirty years is even more so.  Which is exactly what I would spend if my rent stayed the same for the next thirty years.  So, that makes me feel better.

We've looked at a few homes.  We put an offer on one yesterday, still waiting to see what is going to come of that offer.  I'd love to own this home, but, if we don't get it, we will find one that's even better.  A couple even popped up on the market today that I would love to look at if this one falls through.  I guess that's the key to shopping for a home, don't set yourself up for heartbreak, because you WILL get your heart broken.

I've already been prematurely planning the remodel of the house.  Which may also end up being in my favor if the offer isn't accepted...I'll be so overworked from planning, I'll be excited to not have to follow through.  Okay, now I'm just over thinking it.  I'm just way too impulsive for this waiting game.

Panda was selected to be a part of Dogtoberfest.  I have no idea what that is other than an adoption event on the 8th that is more extreme than the average adoption events, but it sounds like a ton of fun.
http://www.underdogrescuemn.com/dont-miss-dogtoberfest/

I love her to death, but, we haven't really gotten anywhere with the potty training and I am tired of cleaning up poop and pee all day long.  If Winston hadn't improved his potty training habits 100% since I first adopted him, I would think I sucked at potty training dogs.  Well, it's still entirely possible that is the case, as Winston is just a mommy pleaser, so maybe that's the only reason I tricked him into going outside for me.

At least I've gotten her socialized and at a better weight.  Right?

In other news, I'm addicted to stumbleupon.com.  If you aren't using it, trust me, you are missing out.  It is the best internet time killer EVER.  I have to resist the urge not to share everything I like on there, because I would post about 100 times a day.  I find pages that I never knew I wanted to find.  For instance:  http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2F1WFB/www.expatify.com/advice/10-best-places-to-live-for-escaping-world-conflict.html

One day, I may decide I'm tired of government shutdowns and say, fuck it, I'm moving to Bhutan, bitches!  I never would have picked Bhutan if it wasn't for stumbleupon.  I'll let you in on a tidbit of information about myself:  I SUCK at geography.  It's entirely possible I may never have even known Bhutan existed if it wasn't for stumbleupon.

By the way, I don't think I would actually ever move to Bhutan.  The reality is, I'd probably choose Canada.  Because, I actually know how to get there.  Well, I'd have to pick up a compass on the way.

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

M&Ms are one of my favorite candies of all time.  It's true, their advertisement slogan that M&Ms will "melt in your mouth, and not in your hand" is completely false, especially in the dog days of summer, or if you have a particularly sweaty pair of hands, but they are delicious.  Most importantly, they appeal to my compulsive and analytical side.

I have a theory about M&Ms, a multi part theory, actually.  The theory is that M&Ms taste better when you eat two at a time.  Not just any two at a time, though.  Ideally, you would eat two of the same color at the same time.  If your handful doesn't consist of two of the same color, then you must choose two colors that are most similar, or complimentary.  i.e. brown and red, yellow and orange, blue and green.  If you eat them this way, I am absolutely convinced you are eating them at their pinnacle of tastiness.  If you just shove a whole handful of mismatched colors in your mouth, they still taste good, but you are lacking the sophistication of matching the taste of the dyes to compliment one another.  Kind of like a wine pairing.

I've mentioned this theory to a few people.  The reactions have been varied.  Tyler thinks I am being ridiculous.  I think Tyler lacks the proper pallet to distinguish the subtle nuances of chocolatey goodness.  Especially because he doesn't like sweets.

Try it next time you find yourself with a bag of M&Ms and tell me what you think.

The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

I am the most gullible person...ever.  Except when it comes to money and finances.  If we're talking about the completely outrageous, though, I will probably believe it, if you present it in a way that appeals to me. A tactic my loving fiancee uses quite frequently when trying to get a laugh.  So, I pretty much stopped believing anything he tells me about anything that seems even slightly outlandish.  This led me to not even accept the fact that narwhals actually existed when he told me about them.



Look at that thing.  It's a dolphin/walrus/unicorn.  How was I to know?  I still have my doubts.

Today, I was fooled again.  I found a website advertising tiny giraffes for sale from somewhere in Russia.  Finding this site was vaguely reminiscent of a time when I was convinced miniature pigs really existed (Royal dandies...there are plenty for sale, but they get a LOT bigger than advertised.  This is not exactly considered a hoax like the giraffe thing).  I somehow got Tyler to agree to getting one once we moved in together.  Then I found out they didn't actually stay that small.  In any case, because of my bitter past with miniature animals, I knew these giraffes couldn't possible stay small, but the live feed of a giraffe was what got me.  I was really excited to be able to watch a giraffe going about his day.  Until my friends assured me this was a spoof, and not a live feed.  I got so excited initially about watching the giraffe, I neglected to actually look around the site and see how ridiculous it actually was.



How embarrassing.

But, you know, if it was real, I would totally want one.  Or I'd at least check the feed at LEAST once a day.  I would also name the giraffe on the feed.  His name would be Mr Donaldson.  Mr Arthur Donaldson, if you knew him well.

Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.

It is allergy season.  I thought Winston was going to be the only victim, but then Tyler got hit, and shortly thereafter, so did I.  I always forget how slightly tortuous allergies can be, until they come back.  That nagging sort of congestion, and the lingering pain that comes with.  Ugh, yuck.  To all my fellow allergy sufferers, I feel your pain.  I know it's tempting to wish for winter to come to offer some sweet relief from the changing of the seasons, but, don't do it.  I don't need your bad snow juju, and with winter comes flus, stomach viruses, and killer colds, which are much worse, I swear.  Not to mention snow.  It's only been what, 4 or 5 months since winter in Minneapolis ended, and if I hear a single one of you Minnesotans wishing for it back, I just might kill you.

Yesterday was Labor Day.  I had no idea that thrift stores put their entire inventory 50% off on Labor Day.  An associate of mine clued me in on this, so after work (yes, I had to WORK on Labor Day.  The humanity, I know.)  Tyler and I went thrifting.  Let me tell you, thrift store shopping is a hell of a lot more fun when it's half off.  For some reason, the silliest things start to look more useful and/or interesting.  We really only got decor, but we got some really cool stuff!  My favorite find was the cast iron mechanical dog trick bank I found:



I looked around online, and these things can go for $2000!  I paid $6.  Of course, the one I got would never go for that amount, as it's not the right condition, and I'm pretty sure it's a reproduction, but it's just a damn cool thing to have, regardless.

I also found the Hamburglar glass I've been missing from my collection since my last antiquing excursion, and a Ronald McDonald/Fry guys glass I had never seen.  Okay, I am pretty excited about ALL of our finds, and I swear they weren't all kitchy.  I mean, we DID get a bunch of Jesus swag.

Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.

I should write something!

I've been so busy. When I suddenly find myself not so busy, sometimes I forget to write. But not this time!

I purchased a wedding dress two days ago. It's a beautiful vintage lace over silk champagne colored dress. Not sure of the year, as I think it is handmade, since I cannot find any tags on it. Tyler and I have guessed it has originated anywhere from the 30's-60's, but we really have no idea what era it came from. What I know is it is perfect. I had been searching for that exact fabric and color, but the dresses were all very high end and designer, and I was in no position to get one. Tyler urged me to check out a local vintage store, and because I had nothing better to do, we did just that. The dress was layered under a jacket of the same pattern displayed up high on the wall. There was no way I would have ever considered it, had the sales person not pulled it down for me. It fit like a glove. It was perfect. The night before I was hating everything about wedding planning, and I wanted nothing more to do with it, but once I tried that dress on, some of my stresses just melted away. It's pretty amazing how sometimes, your wedding planning just comes together so perfectly.

Tyler also purchased the blazer portion of his outfit. We also got some bleached peacock feathers for the wedding. Not exactly sure the purpose, but I knew I wanted them. Thus ends our journey of wedding planning so far. We've been mainly focusing on buying a a house. We plan to save money that we would have used on a large wedding and use it as a down payment on a house instead. We also plan to host the reception at our new house. So, we have a lot to do in not a whole lot of time. (We nixed the previous wedding venue I had blogged about, simply for cost reasons, when we added everything up, it just didn't make sense to spend a fortune on one night, when we could use that fortune and buy something we will be able to use forever)

However, we found a house much quicker than anticipated. We were pretty sure we were going to buy a house in a particular price range. We had talked about getting a loan with a credit union representative, but decided we needed more money saved for the down payment. However, a house popped up that we love in a much lower price range, so we're scrambling to get our eggs in a basket (i.e. money all in one place, letter of pre-approval, etc) quick so we can put in a bid once we tour the house on Sunday. Cross your fingers for us, this could be big.

We took Winston to the vet as well the other day. He has allergies. Have to manage those, but it's done pretty easily. Half a Benadryl, twice a day. I pop that stuff like candy, when the season is bad, so I always have it around. So, as long as they work, no big deal. I should have him feeling better in no time.

Haven't had an adoption event in a little while to take Panda to, as I was ill during the last one. I'm really nervous for the next event. We've grown really close to Panda over the past several months, and it would be so difficult to give her up. But, we're in no financial position this month, or even the next couple of months to do anything about it, so we'll just have to hope that whatever is best for her will happen. We did get her a pretty little pink harness and nametag, though. She deserved something of her own.

Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.

If you saw me right now, eating my microwaved chicken patty sandwich, you may not believe I was making a conscious decision to eat healthier. But, had you seen what ingredients were in the OTHER frozen chicken patty, you might think twice. That's right, I have become a label reader. (In case you were wondering, the brand I am eating, Tyson, is 100% real chicken. The other brands, I'm not even sure what most of those ingredients are)

This year has been a year of change. I quit smoking, I drink less alcohol, I got engaged, and now I'm eating better. I'd add that I started an exercise regiment, but, to be honest, I only stuck with it for about a week. I'm preparing for a lot of other life changes as well, like buying a home. Like I said, a lot of change! It feels good.

Now, I've never been overweight or anything, so that wasn't really my main reason for eating better. It's really just a health issue. I mean, I am/was known for my obsession with McDonald's Happy Meals. I still love them, I just love them less often. I also lived off of preservative rich foods: pizza rolls, pasta using canned pasta sauce, frozen dinners, gas station food, lunchables, etc. If it was easy, I probably ate it for dinner. If I continued this way, I was probably going to die at age 45 with a Hot Pocket in hand.

It started with Tyler taking on the cooking responsibilities. He uses all fresh ingredients, and so I started to really get used to eating better at home. Then, I quit smoking, and in an effort to save even more money, I decided to start bringing my lunch to work. I started bringing frozen dinners, which wasn't overly healthy, but I tried to choose dinners with less calories at first. Then I started reading more into the labels. Eventually, I realized the frozen dinners were not much healthier, just less fattening, and I started making lunches. Typically a spinach salad and a sandwich, or some variation. It's gotten to the point that I'm not sure I am going to be able to get any healthier in the ways of food. I'm considering converting to a pescetarian diet, but, with Tyler doing all of the cooking at home, I think I'll need to have a little leeway. As it stands, I probably am about...70% pescetarian. I'm going to shoot for 80% and leave well enough alone. I like sandwiches, and I can only eat tuna fish so often. I may start with some black bean or veggie patties or something in the future, but then I run into preservatives again, and I want to avoid that.

I really only have two major weaknesses. One, is lunchmeat. I like to buy fresh from the deli, but it starts to go bad way too quickly. I'd buy less, but then I run out after just a few days, and I hate going to the grocery store that often. So, I buy the prepackaged stuff with ingredients that are a mystery.

Then, there's the biggie. Sugar. I cannot for the life of me give it up or cut down. In fact, I don't even want to. It's not like I sit there, eating my cookies, hating myself. No way, I'm PUMPED for that ice cream cone, or cake, or candy bar. IDGAF. Gimme candy! I've read a few places that fruit can be a great substitute. Fuck. That. No way, fruit is not chocolate. Fruit sucks. It's slimy, sour, and gross. The only acceptable fruits, in my opinion, are apples and bananas (I'll eat the occasional couple of grapes mixed in with a chicken or turkey salad, too). And those are morning snacks. Not treats. Thinking about replacing chocolate with fruits actually makes me a little angry. Which is why no one I know personally has ever suggested the transition. I also have to drink 1 diet cola a day. At least while I'm working. Which also has sugar. This, I think I may actually be able to phase out once I get a carbonated water system. I started brewing my own iced tea, so that's where I will get my caffeine. I'll get my carbonation (I don't know why I need carbonation, it's just something I like) from my homemade carbonated water, I suppose.

I'm not having major drastic physical changes, which is fine, since my goal wasn't to lose weight. But, I do feel a lot better. I went from being nauseated pretty much half of the time to almost never. Unless I eat something weird, or I'm really hungover. So, that was a huge bonus. I also have been getting sick much less often, but that could be attributed to my vitamin regiment. Either way, it's all working to my advantage.

I have no idea why anyone might find this blog interesting. I just like to talk about food. Especially candy. So I did. Sorry, dude.

By the way, the food pyramid changed. It's a plate, now.

It's supposed to represent what your plate should look like at any given meal. I call it ruining my childhood memories. Bring back the pyramid!

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.

I'm trying to eat leftover barbeque chicken wings and type this blog. It isn't working out very well. So, I'm switching to leftover quesadilla. Tyler and I have had some random dinners lately that we can't seem to finish. I like those mishmash leftover dinners, though.

Anyways, onto things you may actually care about.

I finished my first book on Kindle a couple of days ago. It was unSweetined by Jodie Sweetin. If you're not familiar, let me give you a rundown. This is the biography of the actress who played Stephanie Tanner on the hit sitcom Full House in the 90's. I am a huge Full House fan. Tyler has had to talk me out of buying the DVD box set (shaped like the Tanner house from the show!!) not once, but twice. I'm still not entirely convinced I don't need to own it, either. So, needless to say, no matter what Stephanie, I mean Jodie, had to say, I was going to read her book. However, it turns out Jodie became a meth addict between now and the taping of Full House. So, you get to read all about her crazy life. It was a really quick and interesting read. I definitely question her reasons behind why she wrote the biography, because of the way it ended and the fact that she relapsed during the writing of her book, but ultimately, it doesn't matter. It's Stephanie. She's a meth addict. What more did I need? I have awarded my stamp of approval.

By the way, reading this book prompted me to look at extra pictures of her online. She became pretty damn hot! Then, I decided I was going to look at other actors from the show. John Stamos? Obviously, still hot. Candace Cameron, REALLY HOT! Bob Saget and Dave Coulier? Still not hot (sorry Alanis, I'll never understand how you could have fallen for Dave. He must have been really funny.) Mary Kate and Ashley? Well, they look cool. Not sure I would say hot, but many people would. I even looked up Nicky and Alex, and what they look like now. Except, the most recent looking pictures I found were of them when they were maybe 10. So, yeah, not hot....yet!

I've been itching to watch Full House for the past week, now. Good thing I have at least 2 seasons on DVD.

This ain't your public service announcement meth head:

"How rude!"

I celebrated my birthday by going to my friend's cabin with some friends. It was a blast, but I am paying for it now. My allergies are out of control, and I have the biggest bruise I have ever seen on my inside thigh, whose origins are something of a mystery. Seriously, the thing is the width of 2 baseballs. It doesn't even look real. In fact, it pretty much looks like a port wine stain, except on my leg.

Anyways, I have to be up soon, so, time for bed!