happy birthday to me.

Well, my birthday is in two days. I received my birthday gift from Tyler a little early. He got me a Kindle. So thoughtful! I trought Id give blogging from it a chance...it is pretty neat, but i will probably save my blogging for whem i am on a real computer, as typing on the Kindle isnt that easy. I sure love it, though!

If you look for the positive things in life; you will find them.

Today was a day spent mostly blinded by my weariness and moroseness.  I trudged through the day and got home, where it slowly, but surely, got better.

I took the dogs out, and took a nap, shutting out the world. I slept, and I slept.  Tyler came home after work, with flowers and fried chicken.   We ate dinner, then we went to lay down for a bit before he had to get ready for his show tonight.  I fell back to sleep.  I woke up, brewed some iced tea, baked some peanut butter, chocolate, and walnut cookies, and made some lunches.  I opted out of rocking tonight to nap and bake cookies.  I also had some potty training successes with Panda today, so that was a positive.

I could have slept for many more hours, which tends to happen when I'm in a funk, but I had to force myself out of it so I could do something productive to start to feel a little bit positive.

Life is never easy.   I have nearly everything I've ever wanted, but all of those things take hard work and effort to keep sustainable, which, you never consider when you're dreaming about it happening.  So, as happy as I am most of the time, sometimes, because I put a lot on my plate, it can get to me, and I end up feeling a little negative.

"It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be."

But that doesn't mean it isn't all worth it.

In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant. My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known -- no wonder, then, that I return the love.

I'm having one of those days.

You know those days.  The ones that weigh heavy on you for all the reasons in the world, but none in particular.  You feel under appreciated, yet useless.  Frustrated, yet apathetic.  Nothing is really right, but nothing is really wrong.  I meant to do a million things today, but only actually got to a handful after work.  Tomorrow will be better.

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.

I just finished watching the final installment of the Harry Potter movies.  Yup, two days early.  I saw a girl I haven't seen or spoken to in at least 12 years at work.  We chatted a bit, and she told me she was going to see Harry Potter tonight.  I was incredibly jealous, as I had no certain plans to go see it because Tyler's band is playing their biggest show yet on the day of the release.  She very generously then offered me one of her extra prescreening tickets for the showing that happened in the same establishment as my work.  A showing that started EXACTLY at the same time I was finished with work.

What the hell are the odds that a prescreening two days early was happening in the same building at the exact time I was getting off work and a girl I knew 12 years ago was going to have an extra ticket to offer that very day, only two hours in advance?  I tell you, sometimes the good karma train comes rearing it's big, beautiful head.  In regards to Harry Potter, this isn't the first time good luck has shown itself to me.  At the last midnight book release, I had another pretty similar experience where I had resigned myself to have to wait longer than everyone else, and somehow my good fortune showed up and I got a copy much earlier than anticipated.  Harry Potter, you have been one amazing ride full of all of the endearing descriptive words I can think of but don't feel like typing all at once.

In any case, I realize not very many people had the chance to see the movie early, and there are still people who haven't read the books.  So, I assure you, no spoilers here.

I will however, tell you the obvious, which is how I feel right now.  I feel so happy.  The movie was amazing, as I think we all expected.  Other than it being incredibly short in comparison to the rest of them.  I cried nearly the whole movie long.  Also, I'm quite sad.  This is really it.  Harry Potter has been quite the journey for me.  It is by far, my favorite book and movie series of all time.  I realize there are many of you who won't give it a chance.  I can tell you until I'm blue in the face how wrong you are, how I felt the same, how once you read it, you will see just how wrong you are.  But you know what?  If you're not willing to even try, to give it a chance, well, sucks for you, because you are missing out.  I don't know a single person who has read the books (not just the first one, but at least through the third) who isn't completely obsessed with the series.  Not one.  I have never heard anyone who has read up to the 4th book and said, "Eh, it was ok."  or "I just can't get into it." or, "I hated it."  I can't say the same for the movies, but I'll talk more about that later.

When Harry Potter first came out, I was such a skeptic.  By the time the third book came out, I had a boss who was really enthusiastic about the series.  I really looked up to her, and it was hard not to get excited about the things she was excited about, but I could just not understand her interest.  She always had Harry Potter books sitting in the back room.  I just shrugged it off as a strange thing about her.  At the time, I was above CHILDREN'S books, you see.  I was reading Hesse, Rand, Sartre.  Rowling just did not fit into that group of writers.  She was so utterly beneath my reading material it was incomprehensible to think I would ever read Harry Potter.  Then, one day, I forgot my damn book at home.

I worked, at the time, in Brookdale Mall.  Some of you readers may be from the Minneapolis/St Paul area.  If so, you will remember Brookdale Mall.  I'm pretty sure it has finally shut down, maybe not, but it will soon, don't worry.  Working a day in Brookdale Mall was more than interesting.  That mall was in the HOOD.  Not only was it located in the hood, but it had a bus arriving every 5 minutes (literally) from many of the other hoods.  I spent every single day waiting for every single customer (I use this word very lightly) to try and shoplift, or hit on me, or get in a fight.  I saw people get brutally stabbed in my front doorway.  I saw fights every single day.   My employees nearly got robbed on bank runs.   I could not walk through the mall without men shouting at me some ridiculous thing that they figured would get me interested ("HEY GIRL CAN I GET A BITE OF THAT SAMMICH!?"  "OH YOU FINE PRETTY LADY YOU GONNA CALL ME NEXT?")  So, needless to say, I preferred to take my breaks in the back room in peace.

Back to that fateful day when I forgot my book.  What the hell was I going to read?  I looked around and there was that silly Harry Potter book.  So, I started perusing through it.  Then I started reading it.  It was a very light read, and only once in my life have I started reading a book and never finished it (It was House of Leaves.  If you tell me you liked it, I'm going to tell you you're full of shit and just want people to think you liked it so you can appear to be cultural, interesting, unique, and elite.  I doubt anyone really likes that book.  It is virtually unreadable.  Unless you like reading trite, pointless bullshit that is arranged terribly AND annoyingly, and makes no sense.) so, I decided to just take it home and finish it.  I did.  I was mildy amused.  It was cute, and incredibly imaginative.  I wasn't sold.  But then, I finished whatever book I was seriously reading at the time.  My boss was excited that I finished the first book, so she brought the second one in.  I had very young nieces at the time, so I had actually seen the first two movies, but didn't think much of them.  I really didn't think much of the second movie.  But, I was without a book and not really sure what my next endeavor was to be.  I think I had just read Demian by Hesse and I just wanted something light, and I didn't feel like spending any money on a book at the moment.

So, I read the second book.  It was okay.  But, it was good enough that I thought giving the third book  a chance was worth it.  So, I picked it up.  I read it.  It blew my mind away.  Seriously.  I had never read a book so imaginative.  So detailed.  So interesting.  A book that made me feel every sort of emotion.  It made me happy, sad, anxious, angry, you name it.  I never looked back from there.  From the 4th book on, I always purchased the books on opening day (or sometimes at midnight the night before).  I always reread the entire series before each book and movie came out.  (except the last two movies, I really just didn't have time or the absence of guilt to shut Tyler out of my life while I read for two weeks straight).  I was, quite frankly, obsessed.  I still am.  It is quite literally no surprise.  Like I said, I've seen it many times.  You cannot get through the series and say you didn't love it.  I've never heard of it.  You may not have the same dedication as I did, but you will love it.  There is just no way not to.  Unless you are just so uninterested in reading you can't trudge your way through a book.

I cannot imagine what watching the movies without reading the books is like.  There is so much that doesn't (understandably, for time reasons) make it into the movies, I'm not even sure how I would follow properly.  But, people do it.  In my experience, there are far more people who have seen the movies and not read the books who aren't super fans.  But like I said, no one has read all of the books and doesn't love them.  That I know of, anyways.

Anyways, it's all finally over.  I'm glad I saw it.  Happy I saw it.  But so sad it's over.  I wish JK Rowling would decide she could use more money and write a prequel or even a distant future sequel.  I would be the happiest and most impatient girl EVER.

Harry, you were AWESOME in the true sense of the word.  Very much in a league of your own.  I salute you, motherfucker.  You brought me many, many hours of the best entertainment anyone could have asked for.  <3

The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.

Many of you may have heard of Google+.  Some of you may even be using Google+.  I was fortunate enough to be invited to use it a couple of weeks ago, now.  So I've had some time to figure it out... Mostly.
 

I find myself still learning things, like when you're getting used to any social networking site.  (I was so entwined with Myspace, that when I had to finally pull the plug and start using Facebook, I was like a fish out of water.)  However, the nice thing about Google+ is it is a lot like Facebook, only better.

There is a stream, not unlike Facebook's "News Feed".  You can post pictures and videos.   There is a video chat function, called "Hangouts", which allows you to chat one on one with a Google+ user, or with multiple users in the same chat room.

Another major change with Google+ is the differentiating a positive response to a person's post and being interested in something.  Both are called called "like" or "liking" on Facebook.  You can "like" a person's post, or go to a specific profile for a thing, actor, movie, group, or whatever, and "like" it to get news and posts from that thing.  It was a little confusing when they changed adding a profile of whatever thing you were into as a friend into "liking" it.  They should have called it something different to avoid any mixups.

On Google+, these are two very obviously different things.  For instance, if someone on your stream (news feed in FB talk) posts something you liked, you "+1" it.  I don't know why they called it that, but I guess it means you agree.
Now, if you like something, and you want to get posts, news, or info on it, you search for it on "Sparks" and add it to your interests.  This gives you quick access to any info posted on Google+ on the subject.  I haven't tried it, because I can't think of anything in particular to add just yet.  However, I did just do a search for "Harry Potter" in the sparks section, and it came up with some pretty interesting posts/videos/news stories/etc.  So, I think this looks much more organized than doing a search on Facebook for things you may like.  Especially because what comes up isn't just profiles and fan pages.

Another thing Google+ did better was creating "circles".  Instead of having just one list of "Friends", you can add whomever you want to any given circle, or multiple circles.  You can name the circles whatever you please to make them easily identifiable.  For instance, you could make these circles:  "acquaintances", "family" "work friends", "teachers", "college friends", "people i wanna do", "creepers", "friends who like the same nerdy things as me", "people I don't know but who've added me to their circles", etc.  The circles can get as creative as you want them to be, that was just a list of random circles I could think of.
Now, here's where it gets really cool.  Every single thing you post, be it a picture, a video, a link, or just a text post, only shows up to whichever circles you want it to.  For instance, if you want to post a picture of you and your baby niece, you can post it to just your "family" circle.  Or, if you want to post something funny your work friends will only understand, you can send it just to them.   Say you want to post a picture of you getting a lap dance that you don't remember from the night before, but you don't want your family or work friends to see, you can send it to whomever you feel it's acceptable to send it to. The important detail is, you only send it to the circles you want to see it.  This is good not only for you, but for the people in your circles as well.  You're going to save yourself embarrassment perhaps, but you are also going to save the people in your circles the boredom of having to go through posts they don't care about.  Well, in theory, anyways.

I know Facebook tried the whole "lists" thing, but to be honest, by the time this became an option, I had already censored myself quite a bit to mostly accommodate all of my friends, family, AND coworkers on Facebook.  Creating a bunch of lists just seemed like too much work at that point.

Another cool thing about the circles is, you can choose which circles you want to read the streams from. You can read them all, or read the streams of each circle individually.  Which also saves yourself some boredom if you don't feel like reading the "comic book nerd friends" stream today.  Or ever.

If you have an Android phone, there could not be a better social networking app.  It is incredibly seamless.  It's quick, it's neat, you can delete posts from your phone unlike Facebook.  Whenever you take a photo on your phone, it automatically uploads to your Google+ account in a private folder.  After it uploads, you have the option of posting the photos publicly and who you would like to see them.  No more having to upload each photo individually.

Another difference is how Google+ combines all of your gmail contact information into your account.   I like that you can access all of your contacts on Google+.  Well, you will be able to once it opens to the general public (if they choose to sign up).  I like having my information all in one spot.  It makes life a lot easier.  I also have a google phone, so that integrates things a lot more as well.  The less work I have to do to juggle e-mails, friends, contacts, voicemails, etc, the better.

One thing that Myspace was always a step ahead of Facebook in was the tiny amount of anonymity.  You were able to have complete strangers on your friends list.  You can do that on Facebook, but it always seemed a little weird to me to do that because I have so many family members and coworkers on my friends list.  I didn't want to open up my profile to some randoms who might post really strange things on my page and have my parents or bosses wondering about it and how it relates to me.  I got some really odd posts on Myspace, but on Myspace, you had privacy settings that let you approve comments, so you could avoid some of those really weird or awkward ones going straight to your page.
Also, on Facebook, I feel like a lot more personal information is available than was on Myspace, which is also something I didn't always feel comfortable sharing with complete strangers.  On Facebook, a friend can check you in at whatever location you may be at with them.  Which is fine, but, on Myspace, I had thousands of followers.  I really did not need all of them knowing where I was exactly at any given moment.  Google+ gives you the best of both worlds.  No one can see which circle you've put them in, so they won't be offended if they may not see everything you post.  You can post your location, but you can choose who sees that information.  It's all very good for privacy, and this way, you can add people to your circle that you don't know, but may find something in common with.  I like it.

You also can't post on someone's wall, but you can tag them in a post directed towards them.  I think.  I haven't actually done this yet.  But I've seen other people do it.

There's probably a lot of features I haven't touched upon, but those are the biggest ones I've encountered thus far.

I can't wait until Google+ opens to the general public.  I really like it.  I feel like the only thing it's missing is a blog section.  Then, once everyone joined, I would never need to post anything anywhere else.  But don't tell my network host site I said that.

Oh, and if anyone knows how to merge two gmail accounts (I made the mistake of using one for this site, and one for the my google+) let me know.  I'm tired of having to switch accounts when I go between my blog and google+.  Or, if there's a way to change your blogger main email address to another email address, that would work, too.

Anyways, here's a Facebook funny:

Murder is unique in that it abolishes the party it injures, so that society has to take the place of the victim and on his behalf demand atonement or grant forgiveness; it is the one crime in which society has a direct interest.

Ah yes, the Casey Anthony trial.  I didn't follow the trial closely whatsoever, so I won't try to say I know without a doubt what the verdict should have been.  (Although, from what I do know, I'd have to say "guilty".)  Casey Anthony was rumored to be offered $750,000+ for a book deal.  I'm sure there are offers for movies.  I've also heard from an insider that she was offered ONE MILLION DOLLARS to do a porn movie.  Really, America?  This is the image we want to portray to the impressionable?  This is what we want other countries to see?  If you kill your child (or are at least accused of it), you could become a famous multimillionaire?  I keep trying to fool myself into thinking this cannot be real life.  But it is.  We are a soulless, money grubbing country.  We suck.

In other news.  I just got back from a mini tour with Black Church Service.  We went to Nebraska and back.  Omaha was a bit of a letdown, except the zoo was more than amazing, especially for the price!  I loved it.  Lincoln was a lot of fun.  Sioux Falls was great, as usual.  I don't think I could live that lifestyle for more than a few days.  I wasn't getting completely drunk every night, so it's not really the drinking I'm talking about.  It's the countless hours riding around in a van and eating terrible gas station food the whole time.  Yuck.  I'd feel like hell if that were my life all of the time.  But, for a short period of time, it was quite the good time.

Here's a cool shot I took at the zoo: