To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.

It's been pretty hectic in our household lately, as we've acquired a second foster dog.  I brought Panda to the Dogtoberfest event, where there were a few dogs that were brought in from a Missouri puppy mill rescue.  They were all so timid and shy, but there was one in particular, who was so scared, she was pressing her whole body into the the gate so hard, she must have been trying to disappear into it.  I felt awful for her, so I picked her up and held her nearly the entire event.  It turned out that she had no foster parents.  I really had no intention of taking her, but she pulled at my heartstrings so much, I couldn't say no.  Tyler had not attended this event, as he had to work, so he had no idea what he was going to come home to.  Before he was done with work, I had to make my way into work, so I didn't have a chance to talk to him beforehand.  I was a nervous wreck waiting to hear from him.  I was really afraid he was going to be upset that I brought home another dog.

A few hours later, I got a call at work.  My adrenaline rose, and I prepared myself for the worst.  I picked up the phone, and heard him say, "She is SOOO cute!".  Whew!  Relief.  I reminded once more of why I love my fiancee so much.

What was meant to be only for a couple of days has turned into 11 days...so far.  All of which have been pretty amazing.  The new foster has opened up a bit, but she has a long way to go before she fully trusts humans.  From what I hear, Missouri puppy mills are pretty heinous in comparison to others.  This one spent the first 5 years of her life in one, so I'm sure you can imagine how hard it is for her.

She was casually named "Fidget" at the event, because she is so frightened, that she shakes a lot.  But Tyler and I have decided the name "Nico" is much better.

She is a Japanese Chin, like Panda, but about 1/3 the size of Panda.  She is insanely cute.  She doesn't even look like a real animal, she looks fake, like a stuffed animal.  I marvel at her every time I look at her! We've been seriously toying with the idea of adopting her.  I know what you're thinking, "What about Panda?"  The reality is, I love Panda.  I love Panda just as much as I love Nico.  But you just know when it's not a right fit.  Panda needs a home where she isn't left alone for more than 4 hours, otherwise she will never potty train.  Unfortunately, that is not us.  We can't keep picking up after her soiling day after day, forever.  It is getting pretty tiresome, having to mop every single day.  Nico still has her potty training issues, but she is much smaller, so what comes out of her is also smaller.  More importantly, she is actually catching on to potty training much quicker.

Also, we've socialized Panda I think to the point where she is very ready for adoption.  Nico, I have doubts she will ever socialize 100%, and if she does, I imagine it will take much longer than it did for Panda.  They both have their issues.  Issues that are very similar, but difficult in very different ways.  I feel more prepared and confident in dealing with Nico's fears than Panda's potty training, I guess.

The only thing really holding us back is that Nico hasn't been to a vet yet, so we have no idea what kind of health issues we may be dealing with.  Well, that, and there is an affenpincher with another rescue that will soon be healthy enough to be up for adoption that I am really interested in meeting.  He looks just like Winston, and too, was abandoned like Winston.  Except this one, Ernie, was thrown in a trash and left to die.  I would LOVE to have another one like Winston.  Also, I know if we decide not to adopt Nico, she will be adopted immediately.

This is sweet, little Nico:  

It's so hard to limit yourself, as there are so many heartbreaking stories out there surrounding dogs.  It really angers me that people will go to breeders or pet stores to "buy" dogs.  I really want to make a serious point here, if you are buying a dog anywhere, online, in a pet store, or from a breeder, and you can't meet the parents of the dog, it is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT certain that dog came from a puppy mill.  DO NOT TAKE THAT DOG, as you are helping a disgusting, abusive, and heinous trade continue to operate.  I don't care if the sales people assure you these animals are not from a puppy mill.  That is what they ALL say.  Again, if you can't meet the mother and father of these puppies, then they came from a puppy mill.  Stay away.  The mother and father of this adorable puppy you can't resist are living in squalor.  They live in their own filth, stuck in a small cage, typically in a stack of cages, where the animals can defecate and urinate all over one another, they never know what love or care from a human is, they spend their whole lives in these cages until they are deemed no longer profitable. At that point, they are auctioned off.  If no one bids on them, they are immediately euthanized.  You are helping this process continue if you purchase that dog.  Shame on you, if that is the route you take, really.

I just wish puppy mills could be banned nationwide, then my heart wouldn't break every time I saw a dog I wanted to help, but can't, because my resources are stretched as thin as they can get.  I wouldn't feel guilt because I can't help them all, forever.

Here's some links about puppy mills:

http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/puppy_mills/

http://www.aspca.org/fight-animal-cruelty/puppy-mills/what-is-a-puppy-mill.aspx